Several years ago, I found myself in a spat with some of my dearest friends.  I wouldn’t use the term “fight,” because that seems a bit dramatic and middle-schoolish.  Lord knows, we 40-something moms don’t need any more middle school drama in our lives. Squabble, spat, shindy … you get the picture.

Blame the power of misinterpreted typed words. An email exchange escalated to offended hearts and hurt feelings. After experiencing anxiety and losing sleep over this digital conversation, I picked up the phone and hit “call.” (gasp! Yes, people still do this!) We talked. We listened. We reconciled.

The issue’s crux was that we still felt perceived as our younger selves.  Twenty years ago we were either more adventurous or quick to judge. It seemed as if our age and maturity were forgotten, and we were back in our collegiate mentality.  I’ll let you figure out which camp I was in. I’ll also admit my forefinger used to be much stronger than the others.

Our conversation proved to be productive. We resolved to put previous, less mature seasons in the past. The filter of wisdom, age, and change would be applied going forward.

Seasons of our health

Sometimes we get stuck in a previous season in our health as well.

I’m 43. Conceptually I know I don’t, and won’t, have my 23-year-old body. Sure, I can achieve the same weight, but nothing’s gonna change 20 years, two kids, and countless age-changing body tweaks (‘cause I NEVER thought about elephant knees or the overhang of a c-section scar in my twenties).

It’s a little harder to accept shorter, but impactful, seasonal changes.

• New Babies
• Different schools with different logistics
• Aging parents
• Marital changes
• New job with a longer commute

How to approach the seasons

I’m not going to tell you to power through these with intense health goals. Get up at 4:30 am before babies so you can workout! Pack a full day’s worth of vegetables when you travel with your new job! Stash two cases of water in your car so you’ll always, always, always, stay hydrated! (And so you can miss your son’s home run while you’re on your nineteenth trip to the bathroom.)

Puh-lease. Let’s be a little more realistic.

Figure out how you can bridge the gap between seasons.

What can you do to stick with your goals but still give yourself the grace to deal with life?

How can you allow it to look different in the wake of change?

Maybe your variation resembles one of these:

• To deal with stress, swap out that high-intensity class with restorative exercises like walking or yoga. Consider it a cortisol balance.
• Create new family-dinner goals. Rather than lamenting that you’re not sitting down to the table every evening, focus on one or two main nights where you come together with intentionality.
• Alternatively, pare down your dinners but keep your nightly family table rhythm. Breakfast for dinner, sandwiches, spaghetti, and tacos are all quick prep and cleanup.
• Allow yourself to experiment with new schedules. Maybe a 30-minute lunchtime workout is an answer to losing time due to longer commutes.

Adjust to your current season

It’s easy to find ourselves looking back at previous seasons.

“But I used to be fifteen pounds lighter!”

“Before my child started the select soccer team we had family meals every night. Now, it’s just three nights a week.”

“Ever since I went back to work I can’t find the time to exercise.”

When you start to go down that road of comparison of what you should be doing, what you used to do, or what you looked like, STOP. Just stop.

Instead, figure out how you can make your season work now. Adjust. Tweak.

Or maybe, rest.

I’m in the middle of a misty, wet February right now. My sad, brown palm trees have all but given up.  The winter-resistant shrubs couldn’t resist the 20-degree January temperatures. A month from now my backyard will have more green and I’ll be pruning the dead stuff away, making room for growth.

If your personal health season feels like winter, know it will end. It may be a long Alaskan one or a briefer Southern Florida type, but new life will come.

The bottom line: Give yourself the grace and patience to get through the tough stuff. Accept the hard season you’re in, knowing it will end and you’ll once again be able to give your health the attention it needs.

It doesn’t mean wallow in a pan of walnut-fudge brownies and give away your Asics (though sometimes that’s tempting).

It does mean evaluate where you are. Figure out what’s sustainable right now. Find out what you can do to take care of your body, your God-given temple.

You’ll have more success accepting your stage and adjusting to it than comparing to what it used to be like.

Embrace your current season, even if it’s hard. Forget what your health used to look like and allow your matured season to reign. Oh, and stop judging. Your actions, your body, your eating, and your friends from twenty years ago. Because nothing good comes from that, I promise.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven – Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

What season are you in right now? How can you adjust to bridge the gap? 

Photo Credits:

Michael Mroczek

jean wimmerlin

Jez Timms

Victoria Palacios

Davide Cantelli

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