“Come on, Mom, you’re better than that,” proclaimed my 14-year old.

“I know,” I sighed. “It just gets me sometimes.”

I had just shared my experience of visiting a boxing class that day. You can read that post here. While I was air-punching and jab-crossing the bag, my friend, Seema, kindly took pictures of me to use for the post. She texted them all to me after class.

As I scrolled through the multiple pictures, my eyes were consistently drawn to one thing:

My poochy belly.

Never mind the arms, legs, and smile. All I saw was I appeared five months pregnant in some of them. Stating this verbally is what prompted the correction from my son. I wish I could say I don’t typically think these things, but that’s not true. Normally I’m just more successful at filtering these thoughts before they leave my mouth.

He was right. I am better than that. But I also knew I would only use the more flattering pictures in that post. Or at least the ones that wouldn’t leave my reader wondering why a pregnant woman was boxing.

But something about that decision to be selective didn’t feel right. It bounced around my head, hitting all my areas that try so hard to be authentic.

When theory and reality combine

If you’ve been reading my blogs posts a while, or heard me speak, you’ll know I’m a huge proponent of appreciating our unique, God-created body. We all have different body shapes. Our purpose is specifically designed. We take care of our body so we can do what we are called to do. (And most of us are not called to be models.)

The problem is I get stuck.

Sometimes I find myself in a chasm of appreciating my body yet wanting it to look different.

I’m grateful for my athleticism and my muscles. But why can’t I have a flat, or at least flatER, belly? I may never know the answer to that question. (It probably has to do with wine and chocolate. I know this.)

The reality of physics

The other thing I realize is some of these pictures are simply the result of physics. When one is forcefully bearing down to create impact with a sandbag, the body shifts. Landing a hook? Not only does my arm swing around to meet the target, the hips, face, and midsection follows.  If you’ve seen a slo-mo video of someone getting punched in the face, you know what I’m talking about.

It still doesn’t change how I feel about the pictures.

The reality of a perfectly positioned pose

There’s a reason we see most women in a similar pose when being photographed. It’s almost a formula: Stand tall, shoulders back, legs crossed or with one knee popped, maybe one elbow propped out, and of course gut sucked in. Hey, if it works on the runway, why can’t it work for me?

Tina Fey described it as creating as many lines as possible. It’s true.

Just for grins, I created a better pose wearing that day’s outfit.

Yes, much better. Better lighting, better lines, better gut.

But there’s a problem with this perfectly positioned pose.

It’s boring. It doesn’t allow me to move my body in ways that bring me joy. I can’t live my best life if I can’t get out of my perfectly positioned pose.

Would I rather stand tall or punch a bag? Do I want to be thinking about creating perfect lines or how much fun I’m having?

The truth – all of it

I admit: I wish I had less of a pooch. This is not news to you if you’ve been with me for any amount of time.

But if I pan my eyes out from that one area, I see strong arms and legs. I see a joyful face, even if it’s deep in concentration. I see life.

Is it possible to appreciate my body but still wish it looked a little differently? I hope.

When I speak, I encourage attendees to practice the act of turning their thoughts around. This is based off of 2 Corinthians 10:5:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I can focus on my belly but then I lose sight of my muscular legs, powerful arms, and most importantly, how much fun I had.

I can’t stop the negative thoughts, but I can take them captive and put them in their place.

Maybe next time I’ll pretend that punching bag is all my negative thoughts … which will ensure a great workout and better state of mind.