Rarely do we see these kind of statistics.  Grab a random group of intelligent women with different careers, interests, political affiliations and families, and it’s tough to find agreement on anything.  But a recent unofficial poll yielded an interesting result:

100% of respondents on my Graced Health Facebook page replied that nutrition, not exercise, was more challenging to accomplish.

I’m not surprised.  This is my area of weakness as well.  

Making the right choices on a consistent and daily basis is draining. Exhausting. Challenging.  It’s such a constant battle, I don’t really want to write about it.  I have no business discussing it except from the same trenches you are in.

I feel like a fraud

Writing about nutrition feels fraudulent.  In full disclosure, I don’t have a nutrition degree.

What’s even tougher is applying my knowledge to which food goes in my mouth.  Exercise is easier to write about.  It’s more rewarding.  Walking into the house drenched and physically fatigued feels better to me than passing on my beloved Dove.  Yeah, sure, I’ll receive long-term benefits in choosing a banana over Almond & Dark Chocolate squares, but I feel the benefits sooner with exercise.  And yes, I know dark chocolate has health benefits.  But that only applies to one-ounce servings.  Pffffft.  Please, if I could limit it to one ounce a day I wouldn’t be here.

The other terrifying thing is unearthing issues you may have.  I’m not afraid of the issues, but I’m afraid of giving the wrong advice for your particular situation.  I respect and honor that we came from so many places.  Growing up, you may not have had enough food.  Or too much. Your family ate their feelings. You threw up intentionally.  You exercised every bite off.  You are physically addicted to a particular food.  

Maybe you still fight those demons.  I just don’t know. It’s not my place to tell you how to deal with these. I can tell you what works for me, but that may be the trigger to take you down your own wrong path.  

What doesn’t work for me

For example, I don’t count calories.  I don’t like to use fitness apps.  They create a distracted obsession for me and I look for affirmation from the app, rather than what my body needs.  But this may be exactly what you need for accountability.  So I hesitate to chide My Fitness Pal (especially since I really like their blog) when that may be the one thing keeping you in check.

I have three pages of content I wrote, and deleted, before getting to this point. Three pages of why nutrition can be so hard.  What I’ve decided is I’m going to have to take some time to unpack this. There’s just too much for one post.   I’ll keep those notes and we will delve into them little by little.

My ultimate goal

I can tell you that if we could just get past this pursuit of perfect eating, I think we would all be better off.  We could give ourselves grace when we don’t eat the way we think we should.  And then we could keep moving forward.  It’s like when our car turns too hard into a parking lot and the tire bumps against the corner.  You feel that thunk but then you just keep moving the car because you have to get to your destination.  

We all have somewhere to go …  God has such magnificent plans for us. When we hit the curb, I’m not sure he wants us to stop the car, get out, assess the damage, slap our forehead until we give ourselves a headache, mentally rehash exactly what happened, then turn around and head back home in defeat.  

No.

We take note of where the curb is, and we simply try not to hit again. 

My other struggle is this:  I can’t get Jen Hatmaker’s quote from For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards out of my head:

If it isn’t also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn’t true.

I mean, honestly.  I feel so surfacey (is that a word?  I hope so because it’s the only adjective that seems appropriate), tackling things like eating too many peanut butter cups when mamas on the other side of the globe can’t even feed their children.  Writing about accepting my less-than-perfect, cushioned body, when people are sick and fighting for their lives seems shallow.  Why do I continue to not appreciate what I can do with my body, when others have lost the ability to function normally?

Yet, this is our reality, and a struggle for so many.  So many women put their worth in the number on the scale.  They size up their neighbor and deem themselves less-than if the neighbor has less physical size.  It hurts my heart that we just spend so much damn energy on this.  I talk a lot about being healthy so you can do what God has called you to do.  The irony is, I feel where I need to be right now is right here, talking about realistic, holy health.  

The bottom line

I’m in search of health that honors God and the body He gave me, but doesn’t turn the process into a false worship.   

This is all worth discussing. It’s just hard.

I’ll try to unpack this stuff, but it may take a while.  I’d love your thoughts in the comment section below on what you truly struggle with.  

Maybe for today, you just need permission to not eat perfectly.  Permission to eat at a restaurant with your friends … even the vegan, gluten-free Paleo friends … and order BREAD and DESSERT.  So in the name of all that is holy and delicious, order some bread pudding.  Have a small amount, enjoy it, and keep driving to wherever you’re being called.

I struggled coming up with good graphics for this post, so I thought it would be interesting to see what my most recent food pictures were on my camera roll.  It’s actually pretty indicative of my overall diet.  Veggies, meats, desserts, and drinks.  Balanced enough for me!

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