Do I pass myself off as a runner?  Often I feel like an impostor, feeling like everyone else on the streets is more skilled and having an easier time.

However, I frequently write about walking and running because it’s a simple mode of exercise.  Except for good quality shoes, you don’t need much equipment.  Put something comfortable on, tie your shoes, and walk out the door.  BAM, the hardest step is done.  

My neighbors will comment on how often they see me running.  Thanks to Grace’s arrival, someone has to get her energy released every. single. morning.  I might be training for a race, lacing up my shoes more often.  I may be on a walking date with a friend, trying to burn off the crazies, or perhaps I just need to get something done ASAP so I can get on with my day.  

They may consistently see me springing down the sidewalk with a peaceful face.  Maybe they even see me laughing at the podcast I’m listening to, or my friend’s humorous story.

What you don’t see

But here’s the part they don’t see:  sometimes I really, really hate it.

I dread knowing I’ve got a hard workout in front of me.  

Sometimes my legs get so heavy I feel I’m working my way through sledge.

Squeezing in a 30-minute run can make my day more crowded than I prefer.

Defeat comes easily and quickly at times, when for no reason I just can’t go on.

During the summer, if I don’t properly hydrate with the right fluids at the right time, I’ll spend the rest of the day with a headache. What should feel like an easy three-mile run results in sweating too much and losing electrolytes.

This list could go on, but I think you get the point.

The log doesn’t lie

During my half-marathon training in 2015, I chronicled my runs on the MyFitnessPal app. My friend and I used it to encourage one another and keep each other accountable while training 500 miles apart.  Our training began in early September, which is still summer weather here in Houston, and concluded in mid-November.

I came across some of our running notes and thought they were worth passing on.  I’m guessing most runners have these same experiences.  But it’s also worth the read for non-runners who think it’s all endorphins and happy thoughts.  It’s not.  Far from it, in fact, as evidenced below:

Friend’s thoughts as she trained for her first 13.1-mile race:

Went all two miles.  So hot.  Feared stroke.

That was tough.  It felt a lot faster than what the app said my pace was.  Hoping tomorrow’s rest day is helpful.  It’s only week 1???

Whoa.  So bad.  Could barely run.  ???!!! Praying race day isn’t like this.  Crazy.  Tired? Ate poorly?  Check.  

First mile was incredible.  Like floating on air.  Second and third a bit tougher and slower, bur fourth found a groove and got me through.  Glad I waited til tonight to run. Provided an interesting perspective.

I am going to find a way to get through this run in six weeks. Somehow.  But it’s not going to be pretty.

Woohoo! Not a fluke! Almost feel like I’m drawn more to the long distances? Continued weight loss and strength training needed, but I can feel something clicking.

Mine were less introspective, but still humorous for me to review:

5X400.  Almost threw up on last 400.  Not looking forward to the week of 10X400.

Early morning run…done for the day.  Therapeutic running session with running partner.  Weather not as bad at 5:30am.

Tuesday runs are always easier in theory.  We go slower than when I go alone and we take walking breaks.  But MAN for some reason they are tough the first 2-3 miles, which is bothersome considering I only go 3-4!

Speed work.  6X400.  I love speed work. I love running so fast I can’t go anymore or farther.  I love the exhausted feeling at the end.  I love that it doesn’t take forever.  And I hate it just as much as I love it.

Overall pace was acceptable except I was hoping to finish a little faster.  I’m thinking yesterday’s poor fueling contributed nothing.  Didn’t meet goals but finished.  I’ll take it.

DUCK! (edited because my mom doesn’t know I cuss) So many challenging elements I must add in additional comments at the computer.  (I never did, and now I’m wondering what those were?  Must have been pretty bad, though!)

Find your own love

Whether you are new to exercising or have been at it all your life, we all have days like this.  It’s entirely possible to have a love/hate relationship with your chosen method of movement.  My hope is you love it more often than you hate it and you have more wins than challenges.  

What’s important is you take the sum of all your days and mold them into a better, healthier version of yourself.  Running is often my personal default for movement.  Yours may be the same or something different.  Expletives notwithstanding, they can all be pretty damn awesome.

photo credit: Martins Zemlickis Photography

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