Ah, #teengoals.

One of my teenage memories is cutting out a picture of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen playing beach volleyball and taping it on my bathroom mirror.  This was pre-Kelly Kapowski, and before she was every teen boy’s dream girl.

She was my inspiration for the figure I never attained.   To be able to wear an above-the-hip, U-shaped bikini in that bold, floral, pattern — that was my goal.  She looked so happy!  And so thin!  And so happy because she was thin! 

If I’m honest, it’s hard to change

25 years later, it’s still hard for me not to look longingly at athletic magazines, actresses, or singers who have somehow denied age and still look incredible.  Those Athleta models are so lean and strong and are mighty impressive in their yoga poses.  I mean, really, how can they contort themselves into standing flying crow without belly rolls or elephant knees?

Or what about the singer who had a baby a mere three months ago and is now rocking a sparkly mini dress with her blinged out mic, impressing us with both her vocals and toned quads? 

How about the 47-year old in a bikini top and cut-off shorts, skimming the shores of Malibu in a stand-up paddleboard?  If she can look so amazing, then why can’t I get that way?  

It’s their job, not mine

This is why:  Because my career does not depend on it.  

I don’t have a $3 million movie deal riding on the fact that I am supposed to look a certain way.  I am not trying to sell a record, clothes or the image of happiness, wealth, fame and sexiness all wrapped up into one magazine cover shot.  I’m not expected to go on a press junket from one morning show to the next, talking about how much I loved the cast of my recent movie and what I eat in a typical day.  

Thank goodness for that last part.  I have a hard enough time inputting my food in an app no one sees, let alone having to tell Kelly Ripa and the rest of the world I pick the M&M’s out of my kids’ trail mix. And you know Kelly doesn’t pick out the chocolate.

Let’s also not forget that these stars’ reality is very different than ours.  Many have the time and resources to dedicate hours every day to trainers, nutritionists and the gym.  Tim McGraw discusses in this article his workout regime while on the road.  Three hours of strength training, then lunch, followed by Crossfit-like circuits.  Cough, gasp — seriously?  That’s got to be four hours of exercise.

Sure, he looks incredible, but ain’t nobody got time for that!  Plus, I don’t know about you, but my energy and stamina would wane well before the end of the first three hours.

The point that I’d get fired if it were my job

Of course the other component of being ultra-fit is nutrition.  Have you heard the phrase, “abs are made in the kitchen?” It’s so true, and many of the well-known faces with well-known six-packs also have help there.  I say more power to them; proper nutrition can be confusing and time-consuming.  

But let’s be realistic: most of us don’t have the luxury of having someone manage our kitchen.  And the other hard reality is if these stars want to continue selling their product, they better look good doing it and invest all the resources possible to support it. 

Can you imagine the pressure these women must be under (and men, too)?  To know that every bite will make a difference in how they look in that teeny-tiny sports bra, or mini skirt and cowboy boots, or on camera, which is said to add 10 pounds.  Oh my gosh.  No thank you.   

 It’s so easy to look at their carefree photos and think “I wish I could look like that.”  But the reality is this is part of the gig for them.   It’s so easy to compare ourselves to well-known faces or models in a magazine.  Of course, that’s what they are paid to do.  They don’t have the luxury of compartmentalizing their job and their nutrition because they are intertwined.  Each needless bite influences their ability to sell, and make money.

The shift is upon us

To give advertisers credit, they are slowly adapting to the reality that not every woman is a size 00.  Embracing health over size is becoming more accepted. We are seeing a long overdue movement to reset our expectations.  We are starting to see more real-sized women in magazines and modeling clothes. Thank you, advertising giants!  

One of my favorite athletic retailers, Skirt Sports, is on a mission to help women feel and look their best while exercising, no matter their size.  They use real people, not models, and don’t photoshop out those last few pounds of baby weight or saggy, crepey skin.  Every time I read Nicole Deboom, the founder’s blog, or listen to her podcast, I love the company even more. (If you’ve been following me for any time at all, this is not news to you.)

#teengoals to #momgoals

Even Tiffani Thiessen (now without the “Amber”) has spoken out against the unrealistic quest for the perfect body.  She is focused on teaching her young daughter health over weight.  In this LA Times article, she says, “I want to teach her that eating right and exercising and being healthy is what’s important, not what size jeans you wear.”  Amen, Mama!

And to be fair, perhaps some of these well-known faces are naturally thin.  Their metabolism might be more forgiving and maybe they can put away a cheeseburger and fries without consequence.  (SO not fair!!) 

Keep it real

But for the rest of us mortals, let’s stop comparing ourselves with those who are paid to sell.  Let’s remember that their job is to look good — really good — and they are presumably working hard in the gym and the kitchen to do that.  

What’s our job? It’s to:

• Be a good systems manager, engineer, audiologist, teacher, counselor, stay-at-home mom, journalist, or whatever your chosen line of work is.  
• Move our bodies, make nutritious choices and balance that with all our other responsibilities.
• Teach our daughters and sons the importance of embracing health and real-life size over virtually unattainable body perfection.  

So the next time you get bored in the checkout line and gaze over the multiple magazine covers of toned bodies, six-pack abs and perfectly breezy hair, remind yourself of the time and energy that went into looking like that and tell yourself:

“Thanks goodness.  That’s not my job.”

Then go home, enjoy your balanced meal and top it off with a square of Dove chocolate for each member of your family.  Share the quotes on the inside of the wrapper with each other and enjoy the moment.  Because you can.  And your job allows it.