The training for my January 1 5K race consistently provided me two thoughts: 1) I had a goal, wanted to meet it, and stick to the plan. 2) Just get through the training, the race and give yourself six blessed weeks off running.  

I realize this sounds bi-polar.  It is.  But right in between those two places is the middle.  Balance.  My ultimate goal in everything.

So for the last 23 days, I’ve been swinging the pendulum the other way.  Strength training is my primary focus; I only run once a week.  I mentioned this recently on my Instagram account.  My friend, Leanne, graciously invited me to her gym, T3 Cross Training, to try the Cross-fit-esque classes.  It sounded like something fun and different, so I jumped at it, expecting a challenging workout in a new environment.

What I didn’t expect was the fluttering in the bottom of my throat and the elevated heart rate while taking my morning blood pressure.  

Despite being in the group fitness arena for 25 years, I was nervous going to a new gym and a new class.  Would I be able to do all the moves?  What would we do? Would I live up to Leanne’s expectations?  Did she even have any? Would we have to do pull-ups?  If so, I’m a sure fail.

My uncertainty didn’t improve when I entered through the wrong door. Thankfully, the staff kindly guided me to the classroom.  My eyes immediately looked for the comfort of friendship.  I’ve written about this before, but it’s worth repeating: Fitness is better with friends.  Once I spotted Leanne’s smiling face, I felt more relaxed and secure.

Stretching and a guided warm-up was at our own pace.  This is a great strategy for everyone, but particularly first-timers, as the expectation is not identical movement at the same time.

Jumping into the workout, I was pleasantly reminded how nice it is to follow someone’s directions instead of being the leader.  As I began huffing and puffing, I realized the only eyes on me were mine in the mirror and occasionally the instructor’s — also great for first timers.  No one cared how much I was lifting or what circut I was on.

But in an instant, I was uncomfortable again.

“Does everybody know how to do a kettlebell sumo squat?”  

Um, no.  I know what each of those are individually but not sure what that move is.  I’m embarrassed to admit it but I don’t want to do it wrong.  What should I say?  

That dialogue took about a split second in my brain before my mouth declared, “No.”  And like a pro, he went through the mechanics without making me feel like a fool.  As an instructor, I appreciated his approach of speaking to everyone even though I’m the one who needed help.  Respectful and helpful at the same time.  This held true later when he gently corrected my form.  My pride was only slightly damaged but I knew if he hadn’t done so, I risked injury or pain.

I finished my kettlebell sumo squats and the rest of the workout.  I stopped for mini breaks.  I decreased weight when my muscles fatigued and I lost proper form.  I wish I had taken pictures while I was there.  Instead, I took this selfie an hour and a half later. Disheveled and still slightly wet.  Perfect.  

And the next day when I rolled out of bed, I felt muscles in my back that haven’t been used in a while and Goldilock’s version of soreness … not too much, not too little — just right.

So yes, even the professionals get a little nervous and unsure.  We don’t know how to do every move out there.   We aren’t always the strongest in the room.  But we are on a constant quest to help everyone find their love of fitness, even if it means disclosing those anxieties every now and then.

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