Note: I wrote this two years ago, but with Valentine’s Day and potential lacy gifts waiting for you, I thought it was worth posting again.

You would think after 20 years I wouldn’t be here.

My husband and I are celebrating two decades of marriage this summer.  We are taking an early beach trip in a few weeks to celebrate this, where we plan on basking in the sun and enjoying activities in the area.  

In anticipation of this trip, he surprised me with a few pieces of clothing from the retailer that has built an empire on secrets and angels.  When I opened the package and found a red, lacy bra, my first thought was authentic surprise.  We are not big gift givers.  

The second thought was more impactful … and bothersome.

Before I divulge this thought, you need to know where I’m coming from. The last several years, I’ve been a big fan of Coobie bras. They’re comfortable, lightweight for Houston summers, easily washable, and most importantly, have a very wide back, not unlike a sports bra (go figure).  

The three (four?) inches corseting my trunk helps keep everything compressed. Unwanted, non-angelic wings of flesh and cushioning behind my arms stay at bay.  

But as much as I love the functionality of Coobie, they’re just not much to look at.  

The embarrassing second thought

That second thought pains me to admit:  My back fat is going to show.  

My husband just bought me something fun to wear and enjoy, and I’m worried about how my back is going to look.

I’m fairly conscientious of this part of my body.  My arms and legs give me a decent amount of confidence (though age is definitely catching up to my legs), but that piece of flesh hanging over my bra strap stares back at me, mocking, when I turn around to see my posterior reflection.

The truth surrounding it

The reality is, I know my husband doesn’t give a flying flip about that extra cushioning.  When he ordered the item, he didn’t buy it for the ridiculously skinny model wearing it.  He didn’t purchase it because she could make a one piece footed pajama set look sexy, or because in the online picture she was throwing a dozen roses up in a playful and carefree manner.

He didn’t buy it for her and her skinny body.  He bought it for me.

My husband is the best husband God could have created for me.   I know … you may think that about yours, and that may be true for you.  

But my guy is the one God gave me and I’m forever grateful for His gift.

That I was so worried about my stupid back fat really annoys me.  

He loves me.  

He bought that for me.  

He wants to see me, his WIFE in it, and doesn’t expect me to look like anyone else but me while I wear it.

So just like I discussed in this post, I had to take that thought captive and turn it around to the truth of our unconditional love.

Directions for those captive thoughts

I took hold of that toxic thought and threw it in a dungeon. I told it those thoughts aren’t welcome. I turned it around to thankfulness of the gift from him and the visual gift I can give him.  

Valentine’s Day was yesterday.  If your husband blessed you with a similar gift and those demons of self-deprecation creep in, fight back.  Fight with the confidence that only comes in the sanctity of marriage, and in your husband’s love for you.

I wore that bra with confidence a few days later.

Then it was thrown on the floor.

Here’s to red lacy’s thrown on the floor, regardless of what they look like on.

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